Showing posts with label college students. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college students. Show all posts

12/14/22

JOINING GREEK LIFE? YOU MAY NEED A TRUST FUND FOR REHAB and UNDER-REPORTED ON THE IDAHO FOUR MURDERS

GREEK LIFE and "ALCOHOL ADDICTION" by Recovery Village   Interesting stats.

Statistics from other surveys show the direct effects of substance use in Greek organizations. Each year:

  • Around 500,000 members suffer unintentional injuries related to substance use 
  • 70,000 cases of sexual assault and acquaintance rape
  • 1,400 members die from alcohol-related causes
  • 600,000 assaults occur
  • 50% of members perform poorly on important school assignments *************************************
GREEK LIFE is your straight ticket to being a boozer and druggie.

Let's say you yourself are not an "alcohol addict." But somehow you get into one of the frats or sororities where you are surrounded by people who are....

I chose to link to this site because it seems comprehensive.


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Though I don't usually follow true crime podcasts, I've been following the many articles and videos regarding the "Idaho Four."  By doing so I've been able to eliminate a great number of content creators who are piggy backing on more journalistic offerings.  I'm also avoiding any headline that might suggest the police and many other investigators aren't qualified.

I have yet to find ANY media that would suggest that any of the four murdered college students were alcoholic.  Never the less, while again I don't think anyone deserves to be murdered (or the victim of any crime) I think the investigation WILL have to ask some tough questions about the victim's life styles. 

For instance a person who drinks to the point of stumbling around drunk IS NOT BEING VIGILANT.  

From reviewing hundreds of articles and broadcasts repeated on YouTube,  it does SEEM that Kaylee, was supposed to be part of the winter graduation, but had already moved out of sorority house in the past, had already moved or was moving out of the house in which she was murdered. She had broken up with her long term (five year) boyfriend, you could say her high school or college boyfriend, and was moving to Texas to begin a career. She was back in town to visit and tie up loose ends.  She was doing what many do once graduated, starting a new life in another part of the country, but was there someone who could not bear that thought that he or she would never see her again? 

She might have been sleeping in the same bed as her best friend/sister since the 6th grade Maddy because?  Perhaps her own bed had been moved out.  Perhaps they drunkly fell into bed together.  Perhaps they were both bisexual. 

Her dad is the most openly vocal and angry of the parents.  We do understand the shock that the parents and family members, close friends, and living housemates, must have experienced, and the grief they are experiencing.  Never the less, Kaylee's parents hiring a lawyer to go against the police give me the impression they will sue someone - the police, the landlord, the school.... Someone!  It will not be enough for them that hundreds of professionals and millions of dollars are spent on finding the murderer.  They are acting as if they are special.

THIS IS NOT CSI the television crime solving series. Even CSI  - admits that technologies that do not yet exist are used on the show.  It takes much more than an hour to solve a crime.  DNA evidence is fairly new.

I await the reveal of the autopsy information including the booze in Kaylee's blood...  If she were not drinking for some time at the bar before going to the food truck, I would be less apt to think of this as a "crime of opportunity."  That phrase is used to describe a criminal who preys upon someone because they are a good target, and in that sense there is nothing personal.  I.e. the rapist who follows a drunk woman home.

I also feel speculative about the identity of the killer or killers and their motivation.  The idea that there might have been a get away car. Or that there was more than one murderer. 

I think it's possible that other people did show up at the house and see the crime scene and fled, perhaps out of shock and fear.

As for individual locks on the doors, it's clear to me that the owner of the house clearly intended to rent to students, one after another.  Someone still on the lease and paying rent for months though moved out?  An empty room for the dog to be put into to the killer to hide in?  I'm curious about the rent, and if the rent was only affordable to students with rich parents.  I can imagine the individuals in the house locking their personal doors when out for the day, but not locking them while at home.

Maybe a frat boy went on a rampage.  

It could be that someone heard she would be back in town.  One last chance.

So, was Kaylee nice to everyone?  Too nice?  Or was she a Greek Life snob?  There has been no discussion in the media about that possibility. Her grades were excellent AND she had time to party? She also worked part time at the restaurant.  She does sound like a dynamo. WHY do people join Greek Life?  I think, from reading around this subject, that they intend to have networks for career in place, that they want out of the dorms, and that it's also about being elite or rich enough to afford all that comes with it. But if your purpose in attending college is a career, perhaps the social and career network is the purpose of Greek Life. Oh, and to find a marriage partner who also has potential, comes from money, etc.  As campus get to the point of having thousands of students, the frat or sorority becomes a smaller pool of associates.

But all the reportage that drinking is "just letting off steam" and something that all college students do - they are adults but called "KIDS" shows me just how ignorant the media is about alcohol.

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Addition to original post on 12/23/2022

As I search for new information on this case, "the Idaho Four" I see that the case may not be cold, but after about six weeks of very frequent reportage, including by independent content creators who post on YouTube, reportage with NEWS (ie what's NEW)  is subsiding. It may be that there is a lull, that the speculation has not been fed with anything much since the spectacle of the white car search, which seemed to end when a crashed car fitting the description was discovered in Oregon. The video of a police call to the house when a party was going on but none of the room mates was actually home was revealed.

More proof of behavior that's NOT SAFER BEHAVIOR.  And proof that there wasn't just a hell of a lot of DNA in that house, but also that at least one, if not all housemates, were terribly irresponsible about allowing access to the house.  I'm really sick of the reportage being that they were KIDS, and also that they were TYPICAL COLLEGE STUDENTS.  No they were not.

I'm using the term Safer here akin to when we use the term Safer re Safer sex rather than Safe Sex. Safer behavior may not entirely eliminate danger but will greatly improve your chances of not being exploited or infected so...   

If you're reading this and wonder...

Drinking to the point of being drunk, especially stumbling around drunk, greatly increases your chances of being exploited and targeted.  Usually for sex, but could be for murder.

Giving out the codes to bypass the security of your house or room is dangerous behavior.  You really want people to know what all you have?  To go into your personal areas?

Allowing people to use your house to party when you are not home is ridiculous.  They bring other people in who you may never have met.  This level of "trust" is foolish. Not to be confused with being "social." 

You cannot trust the vetting process of a sorority or fraternity to ensure that the people you surround yourself with are all OK. While you can have by choice a "family of friends" in addition to or as a substitute for the family of birth or adoption, the entire sorority or fraternity is NOT YOUR FAMILY. Further HAZING and other stupid rituals of acceptance that are about power and degrading or humiliating others to prove how much they want to be one of your brothers or sisters is fundamentally beyond immature, it is sick. Do you intend to keep up that attitude and behavior when you graduate and are employed or working your own business?  (In my opinion, colleges should no longer allow these organizations on campus' because colleges supposedly stand for inclusion.)

So let me tell you what those I've met in life who became members of AA and other 12 step type clubs told me years ago, when I asked them to explain. THE TIME YOU SPEND DRUNK OR HIGH is not time in which you experience life, but time you are escaping it.  A person who starts drinking as a lifestyle at 18 who quits at 38 is often a 38 year old who is still thinking and acting like an 18 year old. I do realize there is controversy and confusion about at what point a person is actually alcoholic. For instance, drinking and driving  - when you are impaired - could be defined as one beer. Also, some people are allergic to alcohol or do not physically process it through their system the same.  If you rarely drink it may effect you more profoundly.  Some people define it as, even if it is only one glass of wine, if it is being drunk for an alteration of mood or to escape, then it is your purpose in drinking that defines you.

A while back some friends took me out to lunch and we ate a lot of food and I had one glass of wine.  That wine hit me quickly and did not seem to effect them at all.

Your friends who drink more than you may be your examples or define for you that since you're not keeping up with them, they have the problem, and you don't.

I simply ask you to be self aware and ask yourself honestly how much you are drinking and how often and why. 

If you graduate or leave college after the Greek Life, you may network with others in that life for years, however, if you have been alcoholic as a way of coping with the "stress" of academic stress, before you move to another state to begin your career, or attempt to have an adult, independent life, with a good career too, you very likely want to quit the booze. (Or drugs.) The stress and responsibility of adult life is usually beyond what you experience in college. You won't just have to show up for classes but be on time for work and work for many hours a week.  You may partner, have children to raise right, have family responsibilities that include caring for parents.

Going out to celebrate after completing a semester or quarter or on break is different than parties every day or every weekend. A drink with dinner is different than a case of beer. However, some people can still have that one beer, be drunk, and drive irresponsibly. Some people can drink to the point of throwing up, then ace a test the next day. But, it's more likely that you wont study well with a hang-over. 

Some people point to the Greek Life brother or sister as an example.  Academic excellence as proof that the person does not have a problem with substances.  However, that person may also be blessed with a high-IQ, may have had a pre-college education that put them ahead of their peers, may cheat, or in some way be exceptional.

Take it from someone who has had the alcoholic boss, who, along with others at work, lived around what mood or condition he would come into work with. His lateness and his excuses for being out and gone most afternoons, while his secretary help-mate did massive amounts of trouble-shooting.  

At another job, an alcoholic co-worker of sorts who came in most mornings in a rotten mood, even abusive. One wondered why this person had not been fired for all the misery, but like a college student who still got good grades, he managed to make his quotas.  There were (and still are) lots of people who accommodate.

There is also this aspect of alcoholism, and that is that is one way or another, in adult life it throws responsibility that is yours onto other people who are often unable to say no to taking on more. 

C 2022  Wishing all of you a better tomorrow.  Christine Trzyna

11/20/22

READING SURROUNDED BY NARCISSISTS by THOMAS ERIKSON while DETECTIVES WORK ON THE IDAHO COLLEGE STUDENT MURDERS

Yes, I'm reading this brand new book about Narcissism, and it's full of bad news. They're everywhere, their being raised, and they'll do anything include revenge you and ruin your reputation or your career or your marriage if you don't get the hell out of there, and even then.  If they don't suck your energy from you like vampires, if they don't break your bank, if they don't get away with taking credit for your work, if they don't steal your intellectual property or your image...

They have to get their way, it's all about them. They may even have had a PLAN to get into your life, a long range plan, and a PLAN to get what they want...  No possibility of True Love there because they don't have empathy for you, what they put you through.

Subtitled How To Effectively Recognize, Avoid, and Defend Yourself Against Toxic People (and Not Lose Your Mind.)

This is all so sad.  Because those who are naturally empathic, who care, who are loving and giving of themselves, are punished for it when all that goes to a Narcissist, be that a partner, a boss, or your relatives.

But, you may be wondering, how might this tie in with the murder of four Idaho college students last week, which is quite the murder mystery at this point, one I and thousands of other people are listening in on.

Well, I'll tell you.

You see, I watched the video of two of the women who were murdered a couple hours later, at the food truck, their last stop before going home. They took a ride that wasn't Uber or Lyft, and why not when they were a five minute ride from home? These two appeared to be in "bestie" girlfriend mode after some time spent at a local bar, where perhaps they had not eaten, and - am I imagining this - though it had been a long night - took a picture of themselves together to prove what and to whom?  That they were still having a good time?  

I don't get people who are constantly photographing themselves to share, as if they have to prove they are popular and having a good time all the time.  Like Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie.... As Thomas Erikson suggests, a new "influencer" is born every five minutes.  What's going to happen to all those photos anyway?  "Well, now, here's the time when we just got food at the food truck?"

No, these people were not trying to be Internet Sensations, but they were, all of the murdered, very much into "Greek Life," into the fraternity and sorority scene,and they lived in a "party house" not far from the "row" of houses on campus. To me, someone who thinks that the whole frat and sorority scene is about alcoholism, drunk sex, and rape, and TO BE AVOIDED, not only is every person at the bar that night a suspect, every person in the frat and sorority is also.  When it comes right down to it, they are people who exclude, who think they are very special, better and more deserving than others. Greek Life should end on all campus'.  (A person can still find such clubs and organizations off campus, but a university that stands for inclusion, should no allow it.) In short, snobs are obnoxious. They don't deserved to be murdered, no one does, but the sense of entitlement and other attitudes that are typified as narcissism, are played out in those places, and only amplified by the constant proofing of privilege.

MORE THAN THAT, if the local detectives are feeling sure this bloodbath happened because one of the women rejected a MAN, it very well might be that one of the four rejected someone of the same sex, a WOMAN, even someone who was transgendering.

And a motive might not be revenge for a break up or revenge because someone was just not feeling it and didn't want to go on a date, THE MOTIVE MIGHT BE THAT THE PERSON WANTED IN ON ALL THAT "POPULARITY," all that "PARTY," all that SOCIAL LIFE, all that bouncing around and smiling for the camera, all those SELFIES. (a sure sign of narcissism, even if author Erikson doesn't mention it). 

They might have been a FRAT/ SORORITY REJECT. Subject to hazing or other rituals of ridicule.

We don't have to imagine an ex; stalkers are not always heterosexual people who are obsessed with another person with sexual and/or romantic fantasies. They are not always people who you were married to, engaged to, having an affair with, dating steadily, or ever dated at all.  

They could be your heterosexually married friend, a wife and mother, who has a lesbian crush on you anyway, who you said No to...

So, while the detectives get ready to hold a press conference and probably know a whole lot more than has been speculated in the media, or released to the media, I hope they're in reality about college campus lifestyles. 

"Greek Life" Is their any proof that the ancient Greeks lived like this? Ancient Greek men may have only seen sex with woman, other than sacred prostitutes in the temples, as for breeding only. They may have been more into what we would consider to be homosexuality.

C 2022  Christine Trzyna