POSITIVE THINKING and THE INABILITY TO EVALUATE - FICTION and NON FICTION by CONTENT CREATORS

I've been posting on self censorship because I can tell you that as soon as you start EDITING for the professor, the TA, the church, the "religious philosophy" of the school or the company you work for, or really anyone, you are out of flow. 

You have lost the ability to declare an alternative position. You may not be a radical. You may simply think otherwise. You may be capable of debate - of stating your opinion in a civilized manner without intent to create upheaval. You will be quickly shut down by someone with a more dominant status or bearing. You will perhaps decide it is no longer worth communicating with an individual because you can tell it will always be combative - if you are honest.  And you may hate your coworkers or your job because you're secretly so uncomfortable with the form or degree of political correctness involved.  But where you gonna go?

Imagine my friend who is volunteering for a nonprofit thrift store with a oversupply of jeans in sizes 7 and below for women. (i.e these are for such small hips one wonders how such a woman could give birth and survive.) She suggested they have a sale for these sizes - skinny people - and was told that would be DISCRIMINATORY!  I'm beginning to wonder if they will be able to continue to hang women's clothing separate from mens (that said, I'm sometimes partial to the unisex look and don't personally care if a man wants to wear women's jeans or visa versa but I can tell you, having tried it, that clothing patterned for the opposite sex rarely fits.) In actuality, it would be discriminatory to only sell those sizes to skinny people but it is not discriminatory to sell them to anyone who wants to buy them.

I've been thinking about these issues which have become increasingly prevalent in recent years.

People are expressing themselves all over the Internet but I wonder if this is because they cannot in their ordinary life? (What to call it? Personal Life (is there such a thing?) Real Life?  I suppose it is real if you are living it. Ordinary - as in NOT in the virtual world of the Internet?)

For those of us who remember life before there was Internet - or cell phones - we remember a certain feeling of connection with other human beings as well as overall, MORE TRUST that people would be honorable in their intentions.

I've TRUSTED a people who proved to be UNTRUSTWORTHY, and I understand.  But you have a choice in life to go around paranoid and to put everyone you meet on trial first, or trust them and let them prove themselves worthy of being hung. (It helps if you believe in karma and think you would not want theirs.)  There are so many con artists out there, for instance people who say they will pay you and then profit from the theft of your intellectual properties, that really we all need lawyers. (Now there's a thought.)

I would say that I meet few people these days who TRUST anything or anyone - not the government - and often, not even their partner they're having sex with. While being open minded to ideas and opinions and information in general, THERE IS A SEVERE LACK IN THE ABILITY TO EVALUATE THE SOURCE.  

Also I see that POSITIVE THINKING - combined with certain forms of religiosity - Christianity - can wipe out your ability to grumble to others as well because they won't hear you. Complain and someone will be negating your pain while telling you to BE GRATEFUL. Positive thinking or talking yourself out of what you're experiencing or feeling is a form of self censorship.

Gratitude is not for the things you earn or deserve. Gratitude is for the things you are given without earning or deserving. (Saying please and thank you can still go a long way.)

Following the Gabby Petito /Brian Laundrie case, I lost hours of my life clicking on YouTube videos with FAKE VOICES providing SPECULATION and THEORIES in search of information with some foundation. I wondered at these people who post these things - is it for hits - and eventual payout by YouTube?  Some of the more sickening stuff was a person who posted cartoonish videos of Brian being eaten by alligators. These people are called CREATORS or CONTENT CREATORS - and I wonder if their work should be labeled as FICTION. (How about it YouTube?)

i.e when it is the news  = journalism - it should be called NONFICTION.

VERY FEW OF THESE PEOPLE WHO WERE SUPPLYING CONTENT had the ability or reason to RESEARCH so they were basically supporting their take on the situation by leaning on others who also were not supplying content based on research.

A BUNCH OF LIARS.

SOME OF THESE PEOPLE WERE INDULGING IN NEGATIVE THINKING.  They indulged in character assassination.  They put Brian and his parents on trial.  They apparently do not endorse Americanism.  (OK, I get it that the legal process has not been trusted since the spectacle of the O.J. Simpson trial.)  They do not believe in the law or the legal process, or an individual's rights.

I know - I'm meandering and this needs to be edited.  But I'm in flow.  I'm letting my thoughts out.

DO YOU DARE READ THE FLIP CITY SITE?

FLIP CITY MAGAZINE 

Sort of like Mad Magazine against liberals...  A comic book format.  It's true that we have to dare to laugh again.

EIGHT OF TEN ARTS AND CULTURAL EMPLOYEES SELF CENSOR CONSERVATIVE VALUES

DAILY MAIL - STUDY 8 out of 10 in Arts and Cultural Affairs STAY SILENT on CONSERVATIVE VALUES 

Excerpt: ArtsProfessional Editor Amanda Parker said the findings show 'deep division between public perception and the reality of working in the arts and cultural sector.'

'Our survey shines a damning light on the coercion, bullying, intimidation, and intolerance that is active among a community that thinks of itself as liberal, open minded, and equitable.'

A QUARTER OF COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE SELF CENSORING THEIR OPINIONS TO SUCCEED IN COLLEGE

DAILY MAIL : QUARTER COLLEGE STUDENTS SELF CENSOR DUE TO WOKE CULTURE ON CAMPUS  by Max Aitchison for the Mail on Sunday (Daily Mail UK)

This was going on when I was in college and I felt as if I was being indoctrinated rather than being taught to think for myself or rely on my own experiences,  I can only imagine how horrible it must be for creative writing students there today.  I felt like I was going to a religious school rather than a university with government funding.  The notion that you could only get away with creating characters whose ethnicity, race, religion, sexuality, or values were yours was strong.  The notion that there is no such thing as fiction or imagination really - that cut creativity.

Excerpt:  In the latest evidence of the free speech crisis engulfing campuses across the country, 27 percent of students said they have actively 'hidden' their opinions when they are at odds with those of their peers and tutors.

More than half of those who 'self-censored' did so because of their political views A further 40 percent withheld their opinions on ethical or religious matters for fear of being judged.

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YOU CAN BE DOWNGRADED IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THE PROFESSOR'S OPINION.  I experienced it.

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MONTH - THE IGNORANCE ABOUT WHAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INCLUDES IS ASTOUNDING

I'm not sure of this, but I don't think I know of anyone who has not been involved in or affected by DOMESTIC VIOLENCE at some point in their lives.  

REALIZE THIS:

The stereotype is that domestic violence is Heterosexual man against Heterosexual woman, that domestic violence is PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, and that domestic violence is only among couples - who presumably are married, living together, partners, who are "romantic" or who have sex.  (And many programs and shelters including those funded by our government, only recognize this as well.) But DOMESTIC VIOLENCE includes parents who for years on end verbally demean their children without raising their voices, it includes gay couples and daters who live apart, It can be someone you went on a first date with AND MOST CERTAINLY INCLUDES DATE RAPE,  it includes entire families who pick on one family member - shunning or otherwise screwing them over - in a unified abuse.  There are many more examples I could bring up here, but the point is, it is an EPIDEMIC.

Consider THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD overhearing the horrible verbal abuse including the words "I'll kill you" heard many nights for YEARS ON END  that go on between an adult man in his 50's and his aunt - unofficially a caregiver - who has nowhere else to live. The man OWNS the apartment building - is that why he gets away with it?  The tenant above his apartment whose sleep has been disturbed for years has been overhearing this horror for over 20 years because she cannot afford to move. There are times when the yelling GOES ON FOR HOURS and you can also hear neighbors out there pleading with him that they need their sleep. Really this man is insane and needs to live in a mental hospital where he is strictly monitored.  He is angry and he is a danger. 

I've called the police on this man twice and they NEVER CAME OUT.  Another neighbor says she reported the situation on one of those TIP LINES including stating that she fears it will become physical and she has no reason to think anything happened as a result - no visits from Mental Health. The police have probably been called dozens of times, but they do NOT show up or REMOVE THIS MAN FROM THE PREMISIS, not for one night.  Adult Protective Services is not coming out to remove the aunt to another place - where is she gonna go? A homeless shelter where she'll be surrounded by dozens of abusers?

THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD takes this DOMESTIC VIOLENCE as simply a fact of life.  When I mentioned that this was informing and teaching the CHILDREN in the neighborhood that this is OK, normal behavior, a grandfather blanched.

I think collectively as neighbors we need to take notes, keep calling the police, and so on, but I'm reminded that mentally ill people may have more rights than those who are not. The aunt has been psychologically and emotionally murdered for years on end. Apparently no one cares about her and she has nowhere to run to.  Actually you could move and end up living in hearing range of yet another domestic violence situation as it is so common.

*

Consider also a once upon a time friend of mine.  He had not dated much when he met a woman who also had not dated much, a single mom years older than he.  She was a person who bit by bit managed to convert him to eating her way, and that was just one of the ways she CONTROLLED him. They'd have long conversations about things, sure, but in the end he always had to agree to do things her way or she'd allow him some choices - such as what to order for dinner or which shirt he wanted to buy - because being a unified couple was just so important.  She bit by bit by bit managed to find reasons to eliminate all his friends or get him to, in particular his woman friends. She ISOLATED him. Yep, he let her.  Was he that lonely that he didn't want to reclaim an independent life?  I knew he thought of himself as having been raised an abused child. Why had he not seen this relationship as the same? He'd had some trouble in his employment and finally found a decent job which held responsibility and in which he used his intelligence and skills but was convinced by her that the job was killing him and instead he had to let her support him. He LOST HIS INDEPENDENCE.

I learned after we no longer were friends that their arguments for all to hear in the apartment building where they lived sometimes went on for THREE DAYS and NIGHTS. 

The therapists they saw seemed to strengthen their individual and couple self righteousness and sense of entitlement about how they were to be treated by everyone outside their relationship.  Meanwhile they both appeared at poetry events reading love poetry to each other and so many listeners thought of them as so lucky to have that love that this couple oozed all over each other. People were charmed by how devoted they were to each other and to causes. Out in the world they had the reputation of being "peaceniks." 

*

So Gaby and Brian are now on the posters. How could their relationship come to what it did?  Do they not seem happy with each other - genuinely so - in those photographs and videos?  Well, I think LOTS OF PEOPLE KNEW - friends - parents - other family members - and neighbors - maybe also teachers. I wonder how many of them MADE EXCUSES FOR ONE OR BOTH OF THEM or just stayed out of it.  For while Gaby is portrayed as an angel - with WINGS - she too was involved in domestic violence with and to Brian.

WHY IS THIS SO OFTEN THE CASE?

RAMBLE ON : LED ZEPPELIN

A MOMENT OF COMPASSION FOR THE LAUNDRIE FAMILY : IN THE UNITED STATES A PERSON IS PRESUMED INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY

Like millions of others, the story of the young engaged couple with the high drama relationship who decided to try the "van life" has captured my imagination. I'm watching YouTube videos and reading dozens of articles following the story.  

Terribly, it is also a story of citizen vigilantes,  show-stopping grabs for personal notoriety (Duane Chapman - Dog the Bounty Hunter), lots of speculation called fact,  lots of name calling (Sorry, John Walsh, but when you started calling the family Dirty Laundry you plunged to the depths of a name calling school yard bully - very unprofessional) and people who never knew Gabby driving hundreds of miles to be part of a spectacle funeral and harassments of the parents at their home including the use of bull horns and drones. 

The parents are trying to keep to their daily life as best they can while traumatized and frightened.  So what if they went shopping or camping or worked in their garden?  They too await some horrible possibilities such as never seeing their son again, or their son being discovered dead, or perhaps never having a private life again. 

Each and every one of these harassers should be charged with public mischief and/or disturbing the peace.

The Laundrie family cannot win.  All of these harassments and in particular the judgement against Brian's sister - which I will get into in a moment - PROVE THAT THE LAUNDRIE FAMILY WERE RIGHT TO ENGAGE AN ATTORNEY SPOKESPERSON and keep their mouth's shut.  If and when they are sworn under oath in a court of law to speak, then they should tell their truth.

ALL OF THESE PEOPLE who have gotten themselves involved HAVE GONE AGAINST A FUNDAMENTAL FACT, that in this UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, an individual is presumed innocent until proven guilty.  And so many people are spinning stories on YouTube, on the backs of stories by the supposed experts.

For the Laundrie family is not supposed to be accused, judged, or condemned - not yet.  If we cannot individually or collectively give them that space and grace, then we should not expect it either when we are, perhaps, falsely accused.

Instead Brian and his sister and her family have never once, been thought of or reported as stunned, stymied, lied to, or perhaps in their own deep grief. Asking themselves what they did wrong or could do better? The parents, like any parent living a normal life, may be going through confusion and disbelief that their son could ever murder his girlfriend.

Posts showing the couple clearly in love and enjoying themselves are now supposed to help prove not all was well when like many a couple who indulge in drama do in fact love each other deeply. I'm not making an excuse here for abuse or saying that you should stay in such a relationship but I'm saying it's not all black and white.  As my mom used to say "It takes two to tango."

Brian and the family are in a situation where the MOB RULES - they are actually in danger. 

As for his sister who gave a compassionate statement a week or so ago that she loved Gabby and her children did too, she is being accused of being a liar simply because she said she had not TALKED to Brian.  She was not asked if she SAW him.  What is the difference?

How many times have you seen a friend around and NOT ACTUALLY TALKED TO THEM?

Saying Hi, hello, how are you, and making chit chat is TALKING but that is a very basic and literal interpretation.  Mine is that what she meant was that she had not talked to him about anything particular to the case.  That she did not have a heart to heart conversation with him.

I once had a friend who called me and asked if she could come and visit and stay with me.

I agreed and thought we would spend some quality time together and have that heart to heart talk.  Days went by as we went to restaurants and otherwise spent time together, but it never happened.  In fact at one point we were sitting together watching horses being trained and she seemed to not know I was sitting next to her, so non communicative she was.  I felt she needed that superficiality, that she had too much on her mind at that moment, and was not especially offended. I knew she had wanted to visit me to get the hell out of her town where her ex was remarrying and I respected her privacy.  I figured if she wanted to talk about it, she would.

Other reportage states that the parents didn't even ask their son where Gabby was.  In fact we do not know that.

Frankly, since it seems the couple were off and on for several years - Brian could have come home and said that he and Gabby split, or that she took off and he couldn't find her, or that he decided to drive the van home and wait for her there.  As for him using her credit card without her permission, sorry but couples who live together often share credit and pin codes.  If he used the card, he had to know the codes.  If he charged gasoline to get the vehicle home rather than leave it in the wilderness in another state to be towed as abandoned, then he was actually trying to respect the ownership and value of the vehicle.

I know it looks bad for Brian, but please, consider what American Citizenship is about here and DO NOT HELP TO REMOVE OUR BASIC RIGHT.

It would be more helpful to say a prayer for justice and for the family than to a vigilante judge and jury. 

C 2021  Christine Trzyna

MUKUNDA ANGULO's TED TALK HOW MY IMAGINATION SET ME FREE

A really interesting talk by a man who, with his siblings, spent years confined in an apartment.

Their story became the documentary film THE WOLFPACK.