NEXT MAGAZINE REDUX : NIGHTMARE ON C STREET by CHRISTINE TRZYNA

This was a feature article in the November 1994 Next Magazine, by me, Christine Trzyna.

NIGHTMARE ON C STREET

Last night Pan was trying to seduce me into the Poetry Cult. Maybe it wasn't the old cloven footed trickster himself, but a naked surfer waving the latest copy of Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, from Dutton's. These definitive reference books for the 90's wordsmith keep flying off Dutton's dusty NoHo shelves like B-52's with UFOs on their tails. Maybe Pan, knowing I'm a poet, didn't think his stupendous butt or the long slender fingers of a slide-to-hell guitarist were enough!

He was dripping with seaweed. One piece of it hung seductively over his right nipple. He was carrying a surfboard with a screaming lime NEXT...logo airbrushed on it. Gosh! He looked like Killer Dana's Gary Wright...or maybe it was GMT himself!

His voice was full of maple syrup. "Hey you sweet young Pancake, you," he said. Definitely not Gary or GMT. "Wouldn't you like to enter into the dark den of the gypsies, tramps, and thieves?" he said.

He went on to mention the allure of the Anti-Menites, the Idealogues, and the Revolutionaries, like Psycho Boy did last month, but they all sound so like Jungian archetypes. This was my dream and I wanted crazy Sigmund and his coke addiction.

"Get involved in the poetry scene and before you know it, you'll get all the tarot and rune readings you ever wanted. Married women will turn gay and try to seduce you while their husbands are out paying off the charge cards. Pretty soon, even you will be working for cash under the table," Pan said.

"Wait a moment, Pan. This sounds a lot like a Music Business seduction to me. Did we meet at Lollapalooza? I asked.

"Nah. Too muddy," he replied. "Listen, Christine, follow me and you'll be important. You'll have friends all over the place. You'll drive...drive..drive to readings., No matter what, people will clap for you. I'll see what I can do to rig the slams. By the 30th of the month you'll be frantically searching for NEXT... so you can intelligently plan your month. And you'll start drinking coffee, even though it does taste like crap and puts cellulite on your thighs," he added, glaring at my skinny rump in a way that made me tremble.

"NO! NO! I heard myself moan. But I had sleep paralysis and my efforts to flee were canned. Somewhere in the background, like all good feminists, I heard Mick Jagger singing, "Under My Thumb."

"All I ever wanted was financial security!" I yelled. He vanished into thin air, but I heard his laugh all the way down the beach.

If you're reading this propaganda, you may already me a member of the poetry CULT. And Darling, there is no escape.

C 1994, 2008 Christine Trzyna

Commentary: When I read this silly article years later, I was impressed with my own sense of nonsensical fun and realized it had been a long time since I had written so freely. This was a first write so there wasn't time for both the editor in my head and the press deadline. Of course I see myself trying to tickle (with a jab) certain members of the poetry scene back then.

Duttons closed about a 2 years ago. It was a North Hollywood tradition. Hello to Dave Dutton! (The place is now a yoga studio!)

C 2016  Christine Trzyna / Christine Trzyna Blogspot

GARRISON KEILLOR doesn't think PUBLISHING WILL LAST

As reported by TIME magazine, June 7, 2010 and as originally reported in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE

"I think that book publishing is about to slide into the sea. We live in a literate time, and our children are writing up a storm, often combining letters and numerals (U R 2 Wonderful)... the future of publishing: 18 million authors in America, each with an average of 14 readers, eight of whom are blood relatives. Average annual earnings: $1.75" - Garrison Keillor

EPIC MESSAGE IN THE BOTTLE JOURNEY

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE found in Ireland...

Here's the Yahoo Buzz on it.

Have you ever thrown wine bottle with a message into the sea?

What was your message?

LARRY DOSSEY - THE PATH TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS...

CHAPTER : CHURCHES AND CURSES
from BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR
by LARRY DOSSEY M.D.


(Note: an author who has written about the power of prayer now turns to the power of cursing... pages 26 and 27.)

"When he eventually obtained his Ph.D. in English literature, Richard felt poised for a bright future as a writer. Ten years later, however, none of his work had been accepted for publication and he felt a failure. The rejection slips contained the usual comments about "streaks of brilliance" and "great promise," but something was not clicking, something he could not put his finger on. Richard did not give up. He began to attend writers' conferences and seminars, hoping to remedy flaws in his technique that he could not see. Still nothing worked. Nearing forty, he began to console himself by recalling that many great writers had late beginnings... Following his latest rejection slip from a major publisher, he decided to set his work aside and visit his mother for Christmas.

MOM: "Richard, I know why you haven't become a writer. Since you were a teenager I've prayed to God Every night that he would give you something else to do."

Richard was stunned. "You mean that for twenty-five years you've prayed that I would fail as a writer?" he stammered....Why have you done this?" Richard demanded angrily through tears.

"His mother, too, began to cry, "Richard, I love you. I want only the best for you." Then she said, almost coldly, "Writer reveal things that should not be told - about themselves, about their families. Writers tell secrets that are nobody's business."

Note: Richard went to psychotherapy and began to pray for PROTECTION FROM HIS MOTHER'S PRAYERS. He published a novel with a major publisher three years later.

GRAHAM WALLAS on CREATIVITY

"According to Graham Wallas, a sort of re-ordering process takes place in the brain during creativity, which he calls incubation, A creative person develops interest in a particular subject, gathers supporting material, and studies everything possibly related to it. He calls this first stage preparation. After some time, the accumulated material reaches a boiling point and something incomprehensible goes on during the period of incubation that forms a prelude to the next stage, illumination. In three stages - preparation, incubation, and illumination =- the creative person receives a new insight and finds a solution to the problem, or can rearrange the accumulated material to put it under an all embracing principle."

As mentioned in THE KUNDALINI BOOK OF LIVING AND DYINIG
Gateway to Higher Consciousness
Ravindra Kumar and Jytte Kumar Larsen

JULES FEIFFER Quotation

"Success is nothing to sneeze at but failure, too, offers great possibilities."
- Jules Feiffer

TERRY MC MILLAN Quote

TERRY MCMILLAN 10 Questions Time Magazine September 13, 2010

Q: How do you feel about the label "Women's Literature?"

A: I don't like the label. It's right up there with using the term chick lit. They don't refer to books written by men as men's literature. I think its really sad that we have to use labels for anything. I'll be glad when they stop referring to me as an African-American writer and just say I'm a writer. That would make my day."

page 10

I LOVE MY LIBRARIAN AWARD $5000 (5 more days till the deadline!)

There are 123,000 libraries in the United States and 10 librarians who, if selected, will win $5000. Nominations started August 2 and go on till September 20, 2010. (That means act NOW!)\

IS THERE A LIBRARIAN THAT YOU TRULY RESPECT AND ADMIRE?

Go to I LOVE MY LIBRARIAN and fill in the blanks!

BOOK EXCERPT : REFLECTIONS IN A SILVER SPOON : PAUL MELLON

By Paul Mellon (with John Baskett, his London based art dealer.)
page 391 C Paul Mellon Published by William Morrow

"I have been an amateur in every phase of my life. An amateur poet, an amateur scholar, an amateur horseman, an amateur farmer, an amateur soldier, an amateur connoisseur of art, an amateur publisher, and an amateur museum executive. The root of the word "amateur" is the Latin word for love. and I can honestly say that I've thoroughly enjoyed all the roles I have played...

COMMENTARY ON JAMES TAYLOR PLACES IN MY PAST

This one goes out to Karen, a friend of mine from art school days, who died of a brain tumor about year ago, leaving a daughter about the age we were when we first met and had our artistic adventures. Only distance allows me to speak of her, and someday to write about her.


"Sometimes I can laugh and cry and I can't remember why."

New Video Summer 2016

ERICA JONG Quote

"A book burrows into your life in a very profound way because the experience of reading is not passive." - Erica Jong in "O" Magazine 2003

SMITHSONIAN : THE OUIJI BOARD USING, NOVEL CHANNELING AUTHOR, Patience Worth,

Gioia Diliberto writes about PEARL CURRAN, who channeled the spirit of writer Patience Worth, who published novels and poetry in the early 20th century.

(Click on the title to get to the full article now!)

"Speaking through a Ouija board operated by Pearl Lenore Curran, a St. Louis housewife of limited education, Patience Worth was nothing short of a national phenomenon in the early years of the 20th century. Though her works are virtually forgotten today, the prestigious Braithwaite anthology listed five of her poems among the nation’s best published in 1917, and the New York Times hailed her first novel as a “feat of literary composition.” Her output was stunning. In addition to seven books, she produced voluminous poetry, short stories, plays and reams of sparkling conversation—nearly four million words between 1913 and 1937. Some evenings she worked on a novel, a poem and a play simultaneously, alternating her dictation from one to another without missing a beat. “What is extraordinary about this case is the fluidity, versatility, virtuosity and literary quality of Patience’s writings, which are unprecedented in the history of automatic writing by mediums,” says Stephen Braude..."

BOOK EXCERPT : MATT RIDLEY THE RED QUEEN

"Gossip is one of the most universal of human habits. No conversation between people who know each other well - fellow employees, fellow family members, old friends - ever lingers for long on any topic other than the behavior, ambitions, motives, frailties, and affairs of the other absent - or present - members of the group. This is the reason the soap opera is the quintessentially effective way to entertain people.: Matt Ridley

FROM PETER NEWCOMB in VANITY FAIR AUGUST 2010

Q

"Which moves more units; a BILLBOARD Number One album or a NEW YORK TIMES Number One best seller?

A

"It wasn't long ago when music labels could release almost any kind of pablum and watch it move more than 15 million copies... These days just selling a million copies is seem as a major victory.... Chart toppers sell 100,000 to 300,000 units a week.

Book sales are less predictable... According to Nielson Book Scan, the best selling adult fiction and non-fiction titles of 2010's first 18 weeks sold between 40,000 to 200,000 copies."

Peter Newcomb/ Vanity Fair - August 2010

CHRISTINE TRZYNA PERSONAL DIARY : FUNNY : THE COSMO BOY I PICKED WOULD PICK ME!

HOT MEN FROM ALL 50 STATES ?

by Christine Trzyna

I was in a waiting room, wasting time, waiting, when I picked up a copy of a recent Cosmopolitan magazine.

Now as you know, I think what has happened to Cosmo since Helen Gurley Brown left is - well - traumatizing. Once in a while I go to a newsstand hungering for the OLD COSMO. But I have never once bought the magazine since THE BIG CHANGING OF THE GUARD over there in New York. (Use the search feature of this blog to see what I've had to say about Cosmo in the past!)

So... I picked up this Cosmo and there is a special feature, let's call it HOT MEN FROM ALL 50 AMERICAN STATES. Each state has one man elected (by ???) to represent all hot men from that state. There is one picture of each, a short profile of what the man is looking for in a woman, and CONTACT INFORMATION. A woman can SHOP these men!

I DECIDED TO AMUSE MYSELF by looking through these many pages of "hot men" to see if any of them walked on through the door that moment, I would be ATTRACTED. (When is the last time YOU saw someone and your heart went ping!?)

AND THEN - YEA - I SEE HIM! Whatever it is about him, I wonder, is it familiarity, because I don't have a "type" when it comes to looks.

Then I read what he has to say. He says,"I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE REALLY COOL TO MEET A WOMAN AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY!"

ooooooh! CAN THIS BE? (After my own heart?!)

Slightly thrilled to have found him, I begin referencing Cher, Madonna, Pamela Des Barres, and an assortment of other women notorius for younger men. I even think to myself that up to 20 years in age difference is still workable!

Sad, sad, sad, he was way too young for me - but perfect!

C Christine Trzyna 2010 All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Affirmed C 2025