Although there are distinct cultural difference between Poles, Croatians, Slovaks, Slovenians, and other Slavs - eastern Slavs and western Slavs, here in the United States we all seem to be put into the same niche, and Slavic people seem eager to identify with each other more so than other Europeans - just an OPINION (You know, EVERYONE HAS ONE!)
I was more disarmed than charmed when this old man began to gleefully sing me a song in Croation - LOUD - and was proud of his operatic voice.
I thanked him.
And then, though we had started out talking about what time the bus to take us up a hill was due, and that it was overdue, he got up and walked home.
4/3/19
THEMATIC
For some time there's been a thematic underlying this blog which suspect that only one or two people (other than me) in this world is perceptive of.
The thematic ties into my postings about the art of Andy Warhol (whose studio was called The Factory), my postings about products ("they didn't pay me to say this") and what I perceive as people seeing themselves as defined (and self promoted) by what they buy/own/like. People reducing themselves to lists as well as advertisements and informational blurbs, in particular to prove they have value beyond their basic humanity (which some of them attempt to deny to others), often defined as having money for Brands ("We only eat Gelsons") - class - superiority through acquisition. People (including authors) turning into BRANDS so now you can sue someone for hurting your Brand/ income potential re defamation of BRAND (object) rather than a human being. People promoting and marketing themselves for career, for friendship, for love.... but also for survival. (So if you're an author who also writes poetry, or you want to write fiction and non fiction, or more than one genre you may have to have several names of the pen.) Not wishing to offend anyone with your version of truth - or opinion - we are in an era of self censorship and stifling in order to be liked - or employed.
#
In some stories, a character's fashion purchases stand in as character development since these purchases define their sensibilities.
#
When I post my (current) "likes" does my reader know me? (Maybe, slightly. I recently surprised myself with a "sea change" about something I'd been dedicated to for about 10 months.)
#
Though I've taken down or not re-posted dozens of song/music videos that I was in the mood for or hearing in my head at the time I posted them, my personal music inventory is vast but also telling since I'm Old School and not at all into or informed on the hip hop and rap artists. Does that peg me?
#
I once had a friend who was uniquely beautiful (and privileged) who was always used the term "Boyfriend" to mean "Date" as in "I have a new Boyfriend" after a couple Dates. She wasn't es[especially promiscuous but she wanted people to think so, that they had a chance with her. She attracted so many men who she enjoyed toying with; even the ones she didn't want. I caught on eventually that she also didn't want to loose any of her entourage to other women and these men let her waste their time. Her phone rang constantly (pre cell) with them just checking in, just telling each other what they were doing with their day, in search of Fame. Interviews, auditions, practice sessions, and in the evenings the clubs to nurse a beer while showing support for each other. She was years ahead of most of us when it came to thinking of herself as a Brand and Self Promotion and Marketing which actually hid her true self, an unknowable self perhaps, unknowable as a means of self protection. It took me a while to realize I had been "conned by her charisma" and to get over the shock of realization that I'd made a major life decision based on her bullshitting me.
#
It's NOT "all good."
C 2019 Christine Trzyna All Rights Reserved
The thematic ties into my postings about the art of Andy Warhol (whose studio was called The Factory), my postings about products ("they didn't pay me to say this") and what I perceive as people seeing themselves as defined (and self promoted) by what they buy/own/like. People reducing themselves to lists as well as advertisements and informational blurbs, in particular to prove they have value beyond their basic humanity (which some of them attempt to deny to others), often defined as having money for Brands ("We only eat Gelsons") - class - superiority through acquisition. People (including authors) turning into BRANDS so now you can sue someone for hurting your Brand/ income potential re defamation of BRAND (object) rather than a human being. People promoting and marketing themselves for career, for friendship, for love.... but also for survival. (So if you're an author who also writes poetry, or you want to write fiction and non fiction, or more than one genre you may have to have several names of the pen.) Not wishing to offend anyone with your version of truth - or opinion - we are in an era of self censorship and stifling in order to be liked - or employed.
#
In some stories, a character's fashion purchases stand in as character development since these purchases define their sensibilities.
#
When I post my (current) "likes" does my reader know me? (Maybe, slightly. I recently surprised myself with a "sea change" about something I'd been dedicated to for about 10 months.)
#
Though I've taken down or not re-posted dozens of song/music videos that I was in the mood for or hearing in my head at the time I posted them, my personal music inventory is vast but also telling since I'm Old School and not at all into or informed on the hip hop and rap artists. Does that peg me?
#
I once had a friend who was uniquely beautiful (and privileged) who was always used the term "Boyfriend" to mean "Date" as in "I have a new Boyfriend" after a couple Dates. She wasn't es[especially promiscuous but she wanted people to think so, that they had a chance with her. She attracted so many men who she enjoyed toying with; even the ones she didn't want. I caught on eventually that she also didn't want to loose any of her entourage to other women and these men let her waste their time. Her phone rang constantly (pre cell) with them just checking in, just telling each other what they were doing with their day, in search of Fame. Interviews, auditions, practice sessions, and in the evenings the clubs to nurse a beer while showing support for each other. She was years ahead of most of us when it came to thinking of herself as a Brand and Self Promotion and Marketing which actually hid her true self, an unknowable self perhaps, unknowable as a means of self protection. It took me a while to realize I had been "conned by her charisma" and to get over the shock of realization that I'd made a major life decision based on her bullshitting me.
#
It's NOT "all good."
C 2019 Christine Trzyna All Rights Reserved
4/1/19
AUTHOR BIOS ON BOOKS : A PET PEEVE
I used to hate reading author bio on books that basically went like this:
He/She lives in New York and their spouse, two children, and three dogs and a cat.
This person had gone from being a writer to being an AUTHOR. They had accomplished a BOOK.
They had posed for a picture for the book jacket so we could see what they look like. (The reader wants to know but they might regret it.)
Was their personal life the most important thing about them?
Did we need assurances that they were married or that they had children?
And mostly, I hated it when unmarried and childless authors had to mention their pets.
I thought, oh, they want their readers to know they are NORMAL, AVERAGE, or that they LOVE someone or something.
Of course, having Gracie, I understand better now.
C 2019 Christine Trzyna
He/She lives in New York and their spouse, two children, and three dogs and a cat.
This person had gone from being a writer to being an AUTHOR. They had accomplished a BOOK.
They had posed for a picture for the book jacket so we could see what they look like. (The reader wants to know but they might regret it.)
Was their personal life the most important thing about them?
Did we need assurances that they were married or that they had children?
And mostly, I hated it when unmarried and childless authors had to mention their pets.
I thought, oh, they want their readers to know they are NORMAL, AVERAGE, or that they LOVE someone or something.
Of course, having Gracie, I understand better now.
C 2019 Christine Trzyna
3/19/19
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE PROUD ABOUT?
PRIDE isn't exactly the opposite of SHAME though it's assumed to be these days where so many are "proud" of their sexuality or their ethnicity or race - all bragging.
Pride and Shame are not about something that you can't help but BE, not about how you were born, not about the superficial or the surface, how things are assumed.
Pride is about character, integrity, and accomplishments, and an accomplishment is something EARNED not a state of beingness. Born rich? No reason to be proud, though certainly there are many who think that this in itself is something to be judged by.
As I see it, your very humanness ought to entitle you to basic human rights but it's what you've done, not what you were gifted, that earns you pride or shame.
I've been thinking about this for some time, but the recent scandals attached to college admissions in the media have served to illustrate my point. Parents and students scamming their way into colleges they don't deserve to attend is shameful. Students earning their own way in - and financially sometimes through college - pride.
C 2019 Christine Trzyna All Rights Reserved
Pride and Shame are not about something that you can't help but BE, not about how you were born, not about the superficial or the surface, how things are assumed.
Pride is about character, integrity, and accomplishments, and an accomplishment is something EARNED not a state of beingness. Born rich? No reason to be proud, though certainly there are many who think that this in itself is something to be judged by.
As I see it, your very humanness ought to entitle you to basic human rights but it's what you've done, not what you were gifted, that earns you pride or shame.
I've been thinking about this for some time, but the recent scandals attached to college admissions in the media have served to illustrate my point. Parents and students scamming their way into colleges they don't deserve to attend is shameful. Students earning their own way in - and financially sometimes through college - pride.
C 2019 Christine Trzyna All Rights Reserved
3/11/19
3/4/19
WHAT IS IT ALL BUT LUMINOUS : NOTES FROM AN UNDERGROUND MAN by ART GARFUNKEL : CHRISTINE TRZYNA BOOK REVIEW
Picked this one up at the library new book shelf on a whim as I was heading out the door and wish I had the time to deeply read rather than dip in and out.
It's a poetical book, many stanzas between scenarios with George Harrison and the Beatles, with James Taylor, as well as, of course,his long time associate, sometimes partner, Paul Simon. Entwined with music legends as he himself became, born and bar mitzvah'ed Jewish but a Buddhist just the same. And lists ; the books and the songs and the accomplishments but which leads no doubt that his wife and son and grandchild are the epitome of his life. He has had a long time writing habit.
A song is a poem is a song.
I liked this one page 140 of this small hardback.
I was her love pest.
Like aphids in her garden.
Mold on her bloom.
I was fungus underneath her nail.
Crust in her eyelashes.
Trust in the atmosphere.
Dust on the pictures of places we've been.
I'm her old bed linen.
The thrust of the argument.
Honey for the tea in a bear.
There in the X-rays.
I'm the horn in her side
cornucopia.
I am her underwear.
Solder and weld.
Fused in our children.
Behold and beheld.
Even if you don't know who he is, the poetry is worth it.
C 2019 Christine Trzyna Book Review All Rights reserved.
3/2/19
LITTLE FREE LIBRARIES and READING FICTION
I rarely blog about the fiction I read. I read mostly non fiction, especially memoirs and biographies. I read around music personalities of the pre-rap era quite a bit. I almost never read what might be called "chick lit " or romance novels.
My neighborhood has several of those little originally designed and built houses on poles that feature the give and take of free books. LITTLE FREE LIBRARY ORG The book sharing movement seems to defy the downloading of e-books from your library. Some of these little houses and the books in them have suffered rain and are moldering. Others seem to feature the latest hardbacks. As a result of finding them I read in recent months two of author Dan Brown (Da Vince Code fame)'s books, Deception Point (published 2001) and Origin (2017?).
Brown's work features ancient mysteries and the latest technology, art and art history and secret symbols and codes. And his professor-hero seems to never get the girl, leaving you to wonder if he ever will, perhaps in some future fiction? Is Brown setting us up for the professor-hero to finally find love? How he resists... How unattainable the sexy and intelligent women characters are!
Which leads me to recall an opening scene and introduction to character in the old film Raiders of the Lost Arc, in which that professor, acted by Harrison Ford, in a rather dull lecture, notices that one of his students is batting her eyes at him.
He takes a look and is surprised to notice that she has written "I love you" on her eyelids.
Who would guess at the adventures this professor has when he's not in the classroom?
Which brings me to:
My neighborhood has several of those little originally designed and built houses on poles that feature the give and take of free books. LITTLE FREE LIBRARY ORG The book sharing movement seems to defy the downloading of e-books from your library. Some of these little houses and the books in them have suffered rain and are moldering. Others seem to feature the latest hardbacks. As a result of finding them I read in recent months two of author Dan Brown (Da Vince Code fame)'s books, Deception Point (published 2001) and Origin (2017?).
Brown's work features ancient mysteries and the latest technology, art and art history and secret symbols and codes. And his professor-hero seems to never get the girl, leaving you to wonder if he ever will, perhaps in some future fiction? Is Brown setting us up for the professor-hero to finally find love? How he resists... How unattainable the sexy and intelligent women characters are!
Which leads me to recall an opening scene and introduction to character in the old film Raiders of the Lost Arc, in which that professor, acted by Harrison Ford, in a rather dull lecture, notices that one of his students is batting her eyes at him.
He takes a look and is surprised to notice that she has written "I love you" on her eyelids.
Who would guess at the adventures this professor has when he's not in the classroom?
Which brings me to:
2/23/19
WHITEWASHING HISTORY BY TAKING DOWN STATUES NO LONGER POLITICALLY CORRECT
Was Martin Luther King ALL THAT?
Not a saint...
I guess it depends on if you can separate what he stood for, which apparently wasn't faithfulness to his wife, with his personal life, which apparently included not just affairs but orgies.
Maybe I'm a prude.
I attended a Martin Luther King "Peace" celebration in which WHITE MALES (and White Females) were all in agreement that WHITE PRIVILEGED EXISTS and so permeates our culture that YOU ARE SO PRIVILEGED YOU HAVE IT AND DO NOT KNOW YOU HAVE IT.
Talk about stereotyping!
What B.S. It sounded like internalized hatred to me.
What's got me off on this subject of whitewashing history is the statues of Confederates being taken down, as well as those unfortunate enough to be young, immature, ignorant, and silly as they posed with black face or whited face, or Nazi or Klan uniforms at parties- especially Halloween Parties and for yearbook photos, is that...
I think a LOT of people REGRET they ever showed up to take yearbook photos in the first place.
I don't think these photos imply much.
A number of people - men people - have reacted to a photographer wanting to take a photo of a group or more than one person by putting their arm around me... It looks like there was more of a relationship there than their was. (Fake news follows.)
As the statues go, they were and are WORKS of ART and taking them down is like saying it never happened. I would prefer people research and learn about various characters and I'm sure tour guides can do justice to history. In certain countries once ruled by the Soviet Union, statues of past dictators and rulers are taken down and put into a museum.
PEOPLE CAN CHANGE.
PEOPLE CAN LEARN.
Case in point: Prince Harry. Does anyone recall when he was young, immature, ignorant and silly and went to a party sporting Nazi gear? And now he loves and is married to Meghan Markle, a biracial woman.
If Prince Harry can learn and change so can anyone else.
While yelling RACISM seems ESPECIALLY POPULAR right now, what about SEXISM (Outside the MeToo Movement which seems focused on actresses in Hollywood) and AGISM? What about ANTI-CATHOLICISM? (That's ESPECIALLY POPULAR right now too!)
OK, what got me wound up about all this that I was asked to edit the instruction sheet for a game. The person who invented the game is a college educated, intelligent, employed, good looking, well mannered, well spoken HISPANIC- AMERICAN MALE (of Mexican heritage) and I was astounded that he would, LIKE MOST GAMERS, rely on VIOLENCE to MAKE MONEY on a GAME. Especially because he was part of this B.S. Martin Luther King "Peace" celebration in which WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE had WHITE MALES HANGING THEIR HEADS. If I didn't know he was HISPANIC, I'd think he was WHITE by looking at him. The ONLY FEMALE CHARACTERS IN HIS GAME WERE HOOKERS and PLAYERS (I take it heterosexual males) could BUY THEM or SEND THEM TO GANG LEADERS AS GIFTS.
Yeeeeeeeeesh!
Not a saint...
I guess it depends on if you can separate what he stood for, which apparently wasn't faithfulness to his wife, with his personal life, which apparently included not just affairs but orgies.
Maybe I'm a prude.
I attended a Martin Luther King "Peace" celebration in which WHITE MALES (and White Females) were all in agreement that WHITE PRIVILEGED EXISTS and so permeates our culture that YOU ARE SO PRIVILEGED YOU HAVE IT AND DO NOT KNOW YOU HAVE IT.
Talk about stereotyping!
What B.S. It sounded like internalized hatred to me.
What's got me off on this subject of whitewashing history is the statues of Confederates being taken down, as well as those unfortunate enough to be young, immature, ignorant, and silly as they posed with black face or whited face, or Nazi or Klan uniforms at parties- especially Halloween Parties and for yearbook photos, is that...
I think a LOT of people REGRET they ever showed up to take yearbook photos in the first place.
I don't think these photos imply much.
A number of people - men people - have reacted to a photographer wanting to take a photo of a group or more than one person by putting their arm around me... It looks like there was more of a relationship there than their was. (Fake news follows.)
As the statues go, they were and are WORKS of ART and taking them down is like saying it never happened. I would prefer people research and learn about various characters and I'm sure tour guides can do justice to history. In certain countries once ruled by the Soviet Union, statues of past dictators and rulers are taken down and put into a museum.
PEOPLE CAN CHANGE.
PEOPLE CAN LEARN.
Case in point: Prince Harry. Does anyone recall when he was young, immature, ignorant and silly and went to a party sporting Nazi gear? And now he loves and is married to Meghan Markle, a biracial woman.
If Prince Harry can learn and change so can anyone else.
While yelling RACISM seems ESPECIALLY POPULAR right now, what about SEXISM (Outside the MeToo Movement which seems focused on actresses in Hollywood) and AGISM? What about ANTI-CATHOLICISM? (That's ESPECIALLY POPULAR right now too!)
OK, what got me wound up about all this that I was asked to edit the instruction sheet for a game. The person who invented the game is a college educated, intelligent, employed, good looking, well mannered, well spoken HISPANIC- AMERICAN MALE (of Mexican heritage) and I was astounded that he would, LIKE MOST GAMERS, rely on VIOLENCE to MAKE MONEY on a GAME. Especially because he was part of this B.S. Martin Luther King "Peace" celebration in which WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE had WHITE MALES HANGING THEIR HEADS. If I didn't know he was HISPANIC, I'd think he was WHITE by looking at him. The ONLY FEMALE CHARACTERS IN HIS GAME WERE HOOKERS and PLAYERS (I take it heterosexual males) could BUY THEM or SEND THEM TO GANG LEADERS AS GIFTS.
Yeeeeeeeeesh!
2/20/19
FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT WAS NOT A SOCIALIST - WHY IS BERNIE SANDERS?
The news that Bernie Sanders, at 77, has decided to run for President of the United States, and that in a day he had $6 million in campaign funds donated - smaller donations - more voters - reached me this morning. I was cheered by the news and read around the subject via various news services.
Lots of Democrats are declaring themselves. Marianne Williamson, a New Age preacher, declared her self some weeks ago in an eloquent YouTube video I watched. There are so many candidates that televised debates might be limited to two nights and twenty. (How the twenty would be determined, I do not know.)
A criticism I heard is that he is "too old," (though probably in better health that Franklin Delano Roosevelt was during his campaigns and four terms of Presidency and though probably in better health than John Fitzgerald Kennedy ever was, though much younger.) The stigma of being a "cripple" /disabled was understood at the time and in both cases the press/media conspired to not show the President in a wheelchair or with a back brace and only in recent years have health revelations been made about JFK. For those who suffer from pain and dealing with pain management or some other health issue that make them partially or fully disabled, knowing someone struggling also made it to the highest office is inspiring. Who a Presidential candidate of age or ill health chooses to run as a Running Mate - Vice President is always a question. One thinks "What if they die? What if there is an assassination?"
Yet I know of a 98 year old who is still walking three miles a day and others who carry the age of 77 well, while several of my friends over the years have died - of AIDS, breast cancer, leukemia, brain tumor, brain stroke, and massive heart attack, so much younger.
I wish the term Socialist had never been applied to Bernie Sanders. Our only four term President, FDR, instituted so many governmental funded work programs and programs that many people have come to depend on ("The New Deal") including Social Security. Though he apparently offended members of his wealthy class, I suspect polio gave him new associations and new understanding. Socialist? No way.
Sanders seeks to expand some, invent others. Let's think New Deal Continued.
Joe Biden would also make a good Democratic candidate, and main stream, not suffering the Socialist stigma, but I'm not sure I could imagine a Sanders-Biden or Biden-Sanders ticket.
I flash upon the last campaign when I was on a bus with passengers that represented the full diversity of Southern California. When I stated I was for Bernie Sanders a Black woman jumped out of her seat and yelled, "You have to vote for Hillary Clinton! You can't let the Republican's win." Some people think the utter chaos of the current Presidency as a result of the election of President Donald Trump was caused by too many people running as Democrats or Sanders and Hillary Clinton splitting vote. This looks to be right doing the math. As much as I feel traumatized and confused by the current Presidency, I hope to hell Clinton stays out of this race.
Ultimately, people must ask themselves WHY THEY ARE OK with so very many people enduring poverty and limitation. People must ask themselves WHY SO MUCH SPIRITUAL SICKNESS in a so called country "Under God." I can't make them. But I hope this post will make YOU think!
Christine Trzyna
MILLER CENTER ORG on FDR READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHERE WE ARE NOW.
From the site: Faced with the Great Depression and World War II, Franklin D. Roosevelt, nicknamed “FDR,” guided America through its greatest domestic crisis, with the exception of the Civil War, and its greatest foreign crisis. His presidency—which spanned twelve years—was unparalleled, not only in length but in scope. FDR took office with the country mired in a horrible and debilitating economic depression that not only sapped its material wealth and spiritual strength, but cast a pall over its future. Roosevelt's combination of confidence, optimism, and political savvy—all of which came together in the experimental economic and social programs of the "New Deal"—helped bring about the beginnings of a national recovery.
Lots of Democrats are declaring themselves. Marianne Williamson, a New Age preacher, declared her self some weeks ago in an eloquent YouTube video I watched. There are so many candidates that televised debates might be limited to two nights and twenty. (How the twenty would be determined, I do not know.)
A criticism I heard is that he is "too old," (though probably in better health that Franklin Delano Roosevelt was during his campaigns and four terms of Presidency and though probably in better health than John Fitzgerald Kennedy ever was, though much younger.) The stigma of being a "cripple" /disabled was understood at the time and in both cases the press/media conspired to not show the President in a wheelchair or with a back brace and only in recent years have health revelations been made about JFK. For those who suffer from pain and dealing with pain management or some other health issue that make them partially or fully disabled, knowing someone struggling also made it to the highest office is inspiring. Who a Presidential candidate of age or ill health chooses to run as a Running Mate - Vice President is always a question. One thinks "What if they die? What if there is an assassination?"
Yet I know of a 98 year old who is still walking three miles a day and others who carry the age of 77 well, while several of my friends over the years have died - of AIDS, breast cancer, leukemia, brain tumor, brain stroke, and massive heart attack, so much younger.
I wish the term Socialist had never been applied to Bernie Sanders. Our only four term President, FDR, instituted so many governmental funded work programs and programs that many people have come to depend on ("The New Deal") including Social Security. Though he apparently offended members of his wealthy class, I suspect polio gave him new associations and new understanding. Socialist? No way.
Sanders seeks to expand some, invent others. Let's think New Deal Continued.
Joe Biden would also make a good Democratic candidate, and main stream, not suffering the Socialist stigma, but I'm not sure I could imagine a Sanders-Biden or Biden-Sanders ticket.
I flash upon the last campaign when I was on a bus with passengers that represented the full diversity of Southern California. When I stated I was for Bernie Sanders a Black woman jumped out of her seat and yelled, "You have to vote for Hillary Clinton! You can't let the Republican's win." Some people think the utter chaos of the current Presidency as a result of the election of President Donald Trump was caused by too many people running as Democrats or Sanders and Hillary Clinton splitting vote. This looks to be right doing the math. As much as I feel traumatized and confused by the current Presidency, I hope to hell Clinton stays out of this race.
Ultimately, people must ask themselves WHY THEY ARE OK with so very many people enduring poverty and limitation. People must ask themselves WHY SO MUCH SPIRITUAL SICKNESS in a so called country "Under God." I can't make them. But I hope this post will make YOU think!
Christine Trzyna
MILLER CENTER ORG on FDR READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHERE WE ARE NOW.
From the site: Faced with the Great Depression and World War II, Franklin D. Roosevelt, nicknamed “FDR,” guided America through its greatest domestic crisis, with the exception of the Civil War, and its greatest foreign crisis. His presidency—which spanned twelve years—was unparalleled, not only in length but in scope. FDR took office with the country mired in a horrible and debilitating economic depression that not only sapped its material wealth and spiritual strength, but cast a pall over its future. Roosevelt's combination of confidence, optimism, and political savvy—all of which came together in the experimental economic and social programs of the "New Deal"—helped bring about the beginnings of a national recovery.
2/19/19
PEOPLE NEED TO HAVE VALUE(S) OTHER THAN THEIR HOME VALUES : TALKING TO STRANGERS
It was getting dark - a gorgeous sunset - and I was walking my dog. It's been cold and I'm cold but don't want to go in quite yet. I see a man who is sitting on his porch in a big bathrobe with Elton John blaring out the open door.
"Elton John!," I say.
"Absolutely!," he says. And he comes down the steps in the street.
For a moment we admire the sunset. He assures me every day it's like this, watching sunsets. He's young and retired. I've never had an ambition to retire.
In a few minutes this man does one of those 60 second commercials we've all been advised we should have written, practiced, to inform someone else of who we are. After all, first impressions count. The only chance you may have to spew your commercial and impress someone is when you first meet them and bla bla bla. Having experienced the following I doubt that:
Realizing you don't really know someone after all, even after years. Maybe because you didn't realize they changed in important ways.
Being lied to so as to be manipulated.
Savoring the slow process of getting to know someone.
Discovering that I was all wrong about someone because of first, second, and third impressions.
Learning I like someone in ways I didn't know I could like them.
Being uninformed and ignorant and changing my mind later.
The man told me to trust him because he had been a fire fighter and as a fire fighter he knew all about life - disease - and death. He managed to bark questions at me wanting to know about my parent's health, my health - and his health was that he was a cancer survivor. He waved his hand below the belt of that bath robe and said that he could no longer be a "baby maker." Guessing my age (a game some people have) to be a good 20 years younger than I am I had to wonder if he was trying to compliment me or pick me up. But more than anything he wanted to let me know that he'd been married for years and had given his ex wife the big house (dropping the location - a well known expensive suburb) while he bought this one - which would go to their successful grown sons. Their ages, their professions, revealed. I didn't ask why they divorced but I smelled booze.
Ah, I thought, anyone who gets involved with him will have to accept that should they live with him or marry him they will get nothing when he dies. Clearly he's shopping for someone else's ex wife who got the big house in her divorce.
I answered more personal questions than I should have, enough to be angry with myself later. I thought he was rude, not forthright.
He told me he was best friends with his neighbor, asked me if I knew who he was - the family - apparently big shits in a small toilet, and I claimed I had heard the surname. He added that being friends with rich people was cool; the gift of an entire salmon!
When he started probing my assets, location, who gets the house, all that, I wanted to make a run for it.
"Well, it's time to move on," I said.
He wished me "Luck."
Sadly, this man is just one of many I've met in recent months who don't just want to brag and impress but are the equivalent of Gold Diggers themselves. In fact, I seem to be surrounded by people who live for the value of their homes. Some of these homes are falling apart around them and they can't afford to upkeep or remodel, but the prices that neighboring houses sell for, predictions on Internet based estimates, and so on, give them the impression they can sell for more than land value.
Well maybe.
I once had a friend who was married to an upstart executive and at the time they could have afforded a brand new four bedroom house in a suburb, but he didn't want the commute. So they looked for the few streets on the West Side of Los Angeles that had affordable houses, tiny houses on tiny lots without much landscaping that were available due to original homeowners getting old in them and dying. To prove they could afford this one particular house they borrowed from parents and counted their assets including paintings and flea market antique finds. The bank sent an inspector and so did the real estate agent. He, however, hired his own inspector. Really this man was looking for anything that could knock the price down. Instead he found a major problem. To fix this problem and sell the house would cost the owners $20,000. They offered immediately and because the couple were sure that they had known the problem and not been honest about it, my friend and her husband wanted to back out. It took months.
And so when I see houses that would need to be brought up to code, I think "land value." Because honest disclosure about land subsidence, structural cracks, and flooding they think they can get away with, is required.
After the house is sold, staying in the area with extreme rents may also mean having to make unexpected and even drastic changes to other cities in other climates. Or maybe a cabin in the woods?
C 2019 Christine Trzyna
All Rights Reserved
"Elton John!," I say.
"Absolutely!," he says. And he comes down the steps in the street.
For a moment we admire the sunset. He assures me every day it's like this, watching sunsets. He's young and retired. I've never had an ambition to retire.
In a few minutes this man does one of those 60 second commercials we've all been advised we should have written, practiced, to inform someone else of who we are. After all, first impressions count. The only chance you may have to spew your commercial and impress someone is when you first meet them and bla bla bla. Having experienced the following I doubt that:
Realizing you don't really know someone after all, even after years. Maybe because you didn't realize they changed in important ways.
Being lied to so as to be manipulated.
Savoring the slow process of getting to know someone.
Discovering that I was all wrong about someone because of first, second, and third impressions.
Learning I like someone in ways I didn't know I could like them.
Being uninformed and ignorant and changing my mind later.
The man told me to trust him because he had been a fire fighter and as a fire fighter he knew all about life - disease - and death. He managed to bark questions at me wanting to know about my parent's health, my health - and his health was that he was a cancer survivor. He waved his hand below the belt of that bath robe and said that he could no longer be a "baby maker." Guessing my age (a game some people have) to be a good 20 years younger than I am I had to wonder if he was trying to compliment me or pick me up. But more than anything he wanted to let me know that he'd been married for years and had given his ex wife the big house (dropping the location - a well known expensive suburb) while he bought this one - which would go to their successful grown sons. Their ages, their professions, revealed. I didn't ask why they divorced but I smelled booze.
Ah, I thought, anyone who gets involved with him will have to accept that should they live with him or marry him they will get nothing when he dies. Clearly he's shopping for someone else's ex wife who got the big house in her divorce.
I answered more personal questions than I should have, enough to be angry with myself later. I thought he was rude, not forthright.
He told me he was best friends with his neighbor, asked me if I knew who he was - the family - apparently big shits in a small toilet, and I claimed I had heard the surname. He added that being friends with rich people was cool; the gift of an entire salmon!
When he started probing my assets, location, who gets the house, all that, I wanted to make a run for it.
"Well, it's time to move on," I said.
He wished me "Luck."
Sadly, this man is just one of many I've met in recent months who don't just want to brag and impress but are the equivalent of Gold Diggers themselves. In fact, I seem to be surrounded by people who live for the value of their homes. Some of these homes are falling apart around them and they can't afford to upkeep or remodel, but the prices that neighboring houses sell for, predictions on Internet based estimates, and so on, give them the impression they can sell for more than land value.
Well maybe.
I once had a friend who was married to an upstart executive and at the time they could have afforded a brand new four bedroom house in a suburb, but he didn't want the commute. So they looked for the few streets on the West Side of Los Angeles that had affordable houses, tiny houses on tiny lots without much landscaping that were available due to original homeowners getting old in them and dying. To prove they could afford this one particular house they borrowed from parents and counted their assets including paintings and flea market antique finds. The bank sent an inspector and so did the real estate agent. He, however, hired his own inspector. Really this man was looking for anything that could knock the price down. Instead he found a major problem. To fix this problem and sell the house would cost the owners $20,000. They offered immediately and because the couple were sure that they had known the problem and not been honest about it, my friend and her husband wanted to back out. It took months.
And so when I see houses that would need to be brought up to code, I think "land value." Because honest disclosure about land subsidence, structural cracks, and flooding they think they can get away with, is required.
After the house is sold, staying in the area with extreme rents may also mean having to make unexpected and even drastic changes to other cities in other climates. Or maybe a cabin in the woods?
C 2019 Christine Trzyna
All Rights Reserved
1/28/19
BLOGGING OR BUST
Was just talking to a woman with a Masters in English, with teaching as her passion, who went two years unemployed, finally got to teach at two colleges - part time. She blogged for the two years she was unemployed bringing in undisclosed income writing about an undisclosed topic. This is something I've never done - make money from Blogging. Actually I think few do. I think many want to.
She and I discussed how wanting to get hits to translate into money starts to sway you. You begin to want to use those KEY WORDS to get people to your site. After a while you feel compromised if you have any conscious at all.
I didn't get to tell her that I blog, have and do so.
Or why I do it.
Mostly, self expression.
Mostly wanting to think that someone out there might something I have to say or write worth their time reading.
She and I discussed how wanting to get hits to translate into money starts to sway you. You begin to want to use those KEY WORDS to get people to your site. After a while you feel compromised if you have any conscious at all.
I didn't get to tell her that I blog, have and do so.
Or why I do it.
Mostly, self expression.
Mostly wanting to think that someone out there might something I have to say or write worth their time reading.
1/15/19
POURING DOWN RAIN - A RESPITE WITH FRIENDS - A WRITER RETREAT
It's pouring down rain and we do need it. The Nature Reserve that we like to walk through is greening. I believe plants love rain, that it stimulates them, that they feel joy at the rain - as opposed to the lawn sprinkler or hose.
What would I really like to do when it rains for days that I'm not?
Staying in a cabin (not too rustic), a big pot of slow-cooker/crock pot three bean chili simmering, some grilled cheese with lots of butter on the bread, a fire in the fireplace. Sleeping soundly. Writing "vigorously."
The other day two friends took me to a restaurant - a secret place - though not too much a secret - after all the place was bustling. It was a Spanish restaurant. Not a Hispanic, not a Latin, not a Mexican or Guatemalan or Peruvian - SPANISH. All products straight from Spain. All food and wine offered - SPANISH. We noshed on olives and the red wine was apparently more potent than I thought. I wasn't driving so it was OK that one glass lit the flame. An opportunity to be silly - and childlike - for a short while. The food was very good and just enough.
But since neither of them have ever seem me slightly lit, since I barely drink at all, one of them wondered if I was going to be able to walk!
In this silliness, I confessed to having OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PENNY PICK EM UP DISEASE. (See previous post.) I had found a shiny penny on the ground on the way in, another on the way out.
But OK. WHO PUT A PENNY ON THE SEAT for me to find when I got up?!
Gee - will they still LIKE me after this?
C 2019 All Rights Reserved Christine Trzyna
What would I really like to do when it rains for days that I'm not?
Staying in a cabin (not too rustic), a big pot of slow-cooker/crock pot three bean chili simmering, some grilled cheese with lots of butter on the bread, a fire in the fireplace. Sleeping soundly. Writing "vigorously."
The other day two friends took me to a restaurant - a secret place - though not too much a secret - after all the place was bustling. It was a Spanish restaurant. Not a Hispanic, not a Latin, not a Mexican or Guatemalan or Peruvian - SPANISH. All products straight from Spain. All food and wine offered - SPANISH. We noshed on olives and the red wine was apparently more potent than I thought. I wasn't driving so it was OK that one glass lit the flame. An opportunity to be silly - and childlike - for a short while. The food was very good and just enough.
But since neither of them have ever seem me slightly lit, since I barely drink at all, one of them wondered if I was going to be able to walk!
In this silliness, I confessed to having OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PENNY PICK EM UP DISEASE. (See previous post.) I had found a shiny penny on the ground on the way in, another on the way out.
But OK. WHO PUT A PENNY ON THE SEAT for me to find when I got up?!
Gee - will they still LIKE me after this?
C 2019 All Rights Reserved Christine Trzyna
1/7/19
12/30/18
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PRAYING DISEASE
For about a year, just ending, I gave prayer another chance. Not only did I pray for myself and something I most certainly need, I even walked in the morning with my dog to a location of great natural beauty and said a simple prayer 40 days in row, early this past summer. Also, a whole lot of other people either prayed (or are still praying) for me /us ; I include my dog in my future life, or said they were. Catholic novenas - quickies and long drawn out ones. Protestant Prayers - several denominations from Fundamentalist to Progressive. God Knows What Prayers.
When I would explain my dilemma to people, granted these people are strangers or extremely new friends, often they would say "I'll pray for you." Well, what else could they do but invest in magic or miracle since they aren't going to roll up their sleeves or be pragmatic?
I thanked them sincerely.
At first I was going to keep my needs and desires and prayers private but I got to talking to a woman who had a worse situation than me; just about everyone would agree that someone whose long time partner has physically disappeared without a trace has a worse situation than me. She was not only keeping the faith, but she went out to a bookstore on a needed day off from work and bought me a book of daily meditations and so I promised her I would read the book every day.
The "voice" of the book is of Jesus/God and he keeps encouraging me to depend on him, clear my mind for him, be full of gratitude for what I have, and so on. I just cannot do it, have that kind of trust that whatever happens in my life is His Will, not Mine, and I should be satisfied.
Recently, without asking me first, which I think is basic respect, three people put me on PRAYER LISTS. Shit, I don't want that up on the Internet, I really do not. I had to work on forgiveness about this, the "they meant well," absolution. Still I get angry and think to tell them "Take that down!"
I was told that I must "pray continuously."
That I needed to "Keep in the Word." (This means read the Bible continuously.)
That I need to trust that Jesus will provide me just what it is He Knows I Need.
The person being asked for results was mostly Jesus, though the Holy Spirit figured in there too. In fact, I always have had a difficult time with the Three Persons in One God notion, and I find myself feeling very different about prayer to The Father, the Son (Jesus), or the Holy Spirit (aka the Holy GHOST!). The Father - it always feels uncomfortable to me especially in the medieval aspect of Lord of the Manor and peasants begging (me) language. He seems to be an Old Testament character who is mean and jealous and booming his voice all over the countryside. Jesus - well, I think a person actually lived on this earth, a rebel, but I don't think he saved my soul by dying on the cross and I wish people would stop trying to make me feel guilty for that; who can argue that Christianity isn't massive in this world? I like his ideas though. Which makes me think Bernie Sanders is a rare Christian in politics. The Holy Spirit, some say was once a feminine energy, but maybe I'm most comfortable with this person because he is the least represented in art. The most mysterious.
Well, I have not gotten what I very much want and need.
And so the prayers start talking praying MORE or waiting for Grace or Miracles.
They talk "God's Time."
Can I deny that maybe if it were not for all this good wishing, all this pledging of good will and friendship, I might be completely slayed? No I cannot. The Power of Prayer; there's a book with that title that emphasizes the positive.
Right now I feel guilty for posting this agnostic post.
It's not like I should have Great Expectations when in fact I have NOT PRAYED for many years. Who am I to expect A Little Something when I have not done my part praying?
I think prayer can be relaxing. Praying can help you focus on what you want.
But I am too prone to finding a proof or an answer in something that will later prove not to be. I have done this one way or another many times in my life, probably because I was tired. Tired of waiting for things other people find easy or take for granted.
Maybe I'm just tired now.
My Christmas mail was full of religious based wishes, a certain wink-wink that we are all Christians aren't we. But we are not.
What I feel the most concern about is that some of the prayers seem to think that if you stop, you won't get what you want. It's superstitious. It's like they expect doom if they give up praying, or wanting, or needing.
C 2018 Christine Trzyna / Christine Trzyna BlogSpot All Rights Reserved.
When I would explain my dilemma to people, granted these people are strangers or extremely new friends, often they would say "I'll pray for you." Well, what else could they do but invest in magic or miracle since they aren't going to roll up their sleeves or be pragmatic?
I thanked them sincerely.
At first I was going to keep my needs and desires and prayers private but I got to talking to a woman who had a worse situation than me; just about everyone would agree that someone whose long time partner has physically disappeared without a trace has a worse situation than me. She was not only keeping the faith, but she went out to a bookstore on a needed day off from work and bought me a book of daily meditations and so I promised her I would read the book every day.
The "voice" of the book is of Jesus/God and he keeps encouraging me to depend on him, clear my mind for him, be full of gratitude for what I have, and so on. I just cannot do it, have that kind of trust that whatever happens in my life is His Will, not Mine, and I should be satisfied.
Recently, without asking me first, which I think is basic respect, three people put me on PRAYER LISTS. Shit, I don't want that up on the Internet, I really do not. I had to work on forgiveness about this, the "they meant well," absolution. Still I get angry and think to tell them "Take that down!"
I was told that I must "pray continuously."
That I needed to "Keep in the Word." (This means read the Bible continuously.)
That I need to trust that Jesus will provide me just what it is He Knows I Need.
The person being asked for results was mostly Jesus, though the Holy Spirit figured in there too. In fact, I always have had a difficult time with the Three Persons in One God notion, and I find myself feeling very different about prayer to The Father, the Son (Jesus), or the Holy Spirit (aka the Holy GHOST!). The Father - it always feels uncomfortable to me especially in the medieval aspect of Lord of the Manor and peasants begging (me) language. He seems to be an Old Testament character who is mean and jealous and booming his voice all over the countryside. Jesus - well, I think a person actually lived on this earth, a rebel, but I don't think he saved my soul by dying on the cross and I wish people would stop trying to make me feel guilty for that; who can argue that Christianity isn't massive in this world? I like his ideas though. Which makes me think Bernie Sanders is a rare Christian in politics. The Holy Spirit, some say was once a feminine energy, but maybe I'm most comfortable with this person because he is the least represented in art. The most mysterious.
Well, I have not gotten what I very much want and need.
And so the prayers start talking praying MORE or waiting for Grace or Miracles.
They talk "God's Time."
Can I deny that maybe if it were not for all this good wishing, all this pledging of good will and friendship, I might be completely slayed? No I cannot. The Power of Prayer; there's a book with that title that emphasizes the positive.
Right now I feel guilty for posting this agnostic post.
It's not like I should have Great Expectations when in fact I have NOT PRAYED for many years. Who am I to expect A Little Something when I have not done my part praying?
I think prayer can be relaxing. Praying can help you focus on what you want.
But I am too prone to finding a proof or an answer in something that will later prove not to be. I have done this one way or another many times in my life, probably because I was tired. Tired of waiting for things other people find easy or take for granted.
Maybe I'm just tired now.
My Christmas mail was full of religious based wishes, a certain wink-wink that we are all Christians aren't we. But we are not.
What I feel the most concern about is that some of the prayers seem to think that if you stop, you won't get what you want. It's superstitious. It's like they expect doom if they give up praying, or wanting, or needing.
C 2018 Christine Trzyna / Christine Trzyna BlogSpot All Rights Reserved.
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