QUIT VOLUNTEERING - I MEAN IT! - Real Reasons Volunteers Quit
by Christine Trzyna
I recently treated myself to reading articles on the Internet about how to QUIT volunteering. Links to some of the most interesting - or infuriating - are below. You may want to read them to see if something strikes you as truthful about the way you've been thinking and feeling.
Here's the "real reasons" volunteers quit.
1) Some people have the nerve to procure and expect free labor - your talent, skills, education, energy - because they are opportunists and users. Some even suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. How dare they put you on a "team" to earn their dream for them? They can manipulate you into doing and giving more than you want to. Stop feeling guilty. It's their dream.
Some nonprofits are started up by a small group of people and you get it, you'll never be one of them. Sure they came up with the idea, plotted for months, raised funds, and put their own money into it. Still, what you have given does not matter. Someone else will come through the door and give as much or more. Maybe you're aren't able to give money too or kiss the right ass. Or maybe the plan is that their daughter and son in law inherit the non-profit and make a living from it.
2) "Non-Profits" are rarely all volunteer driven. They do so pay administration, staff, leaders. Some in fact pay their employees quite well and are well aware of what the competing non profits pay. There is such a thing as ground floor opportunities and ways to make your way up into paid employment starting as a volunteer, but rare for one to be completely volunteer driven from day one. Paid staff may suffer the anxiety of wondering if their paid position will be eliminated and be filled by someone who "doesn't need to work."
Non Profit is sort of a "do gooder" tax exempt status, which is not to say that paid employees don't pay taxes on their salaries. As a volunteer there may be some things you pay for that are tax deductible, such as special clothing and transportation. Is it enough? Do you really not need (or desire) to earn money?
If you're doing this to prove you're a dependable employee, give it six months, at most a year, and be seeking paid employment elsewhere the whole time.
It may become clear to you that their "business plan" has always been unworkable without free labor.
Volunteers who resign cannot count on anyone giving a reference.
3) What attracted you to becoming a free labor - some imagined benefit such as making friends or contacts or plumping up your resume - goes poof! You are surrounded by others in the very same situation. Noone is mentoring anyone. Your peers also have unrealized hopes and cannot help you, so there's no networking.
As for friendships forming, do you have friendships where you work for money, really? Some volunteer work places run a "tight ship" and what this means is that you get there and work hard. You may not get breaks or lunch or be able to say no or leave early, and you will not likely actually get to talk to other people and get to know them. It's a good experience at times to work like a greased machine to accomplish a goal, but taking breaks and having lunch is as necessary where you work for free as where you get paid. Would they be in trouble for labor violations if they were paying you?
4) The issue, cause, or reason you thought giving of yourself was a good idea proves to be uncomfortable or even ridiculous. These are not "your people" after all. You find them extreme, ridgid, or unreasonable. Maybe you have changed or you learned this about yourself being around them
Example: At a church were one friend donated thousands of dollars, volunteered to mind children at services, headed up the yearly White Elephant Sale, and attended a Bible study, she found herself in a group of women who were so not feminists that they pretty much said that rape, sexual harassment, and so on is a woman's lot in life and that they were studying the Bible to become better Christian (i.e. tolerant of this crap) women.
Example: A friend got involved in a liberal church and found that the ministers were using the pulpit to foster a politically correct world view on multiple issues. Pretty soon she felt guilty eating meat or using plastic. She felt alienated. She didn't want anyone telling her how to vote. But what made her quit was when the church, not a cult, but with a clique, decided members should participate in demonstrations and marches.
5) Your goodness, your good will, is being exploited or it requires resistance to avoid being taken advantage of by staff or other volunteers.
Example
A staff member at one non-profit where I volunteered offered my writing and research skills to a stranger who walked in looking for help from them. Suddenly I had this stranger firing questions at me and expecting me to write her letters, advocate for her, and become her new best friend. When I told the staff member, who had not even asked me if this would be OK, this was inappropriate, she did not apologize. I was not writing or researching for his non-profit nor had I taken on any such work for them. She knew I did this in my personal life, as a living. Now she intended to exploit my way of earning a living.
At another location, a volunteer, rather than quit herself, brought along her nasty, spoiled, demanding, and infighting grandchildren rather than leave them with her selfish, career driven daughter, and stuck me with them to keep them "entertained." In other words free babysitting because they are just so damn cute! These brats got in my way physically, rearranged my desk, and the older one treated the younger one like shit in my presence but could I, not being mom or grandma, tell them off? No. So I fired these kids. This did not make me popular.
At another location, a volunteer asked me to do unpaid favors "hey everyone's broke" such as traveling an hour each way to "just feed and walk" his two hounds for several weeks while they were in Europe. Oh I could also pick up the mail. Don't you just love people who can afford to travel in Europe for several weeks but can't afford to hire pet care or put their dogs in a kennel? I said no, offering the business card of a professional.
6) You've started feeling like a human DOING instead of a human BEING.
You didn't want a "punchclock" paid job, which you did back in the day, so you know. You didn't want the need to attend to personal business, such as going to funerals, having doctors appointments, or taking off because your car needs repaired or you just don't feel well, to be a problem But it is. Maybe you never entered into any agreement or understating of the volunteer job in the first place and you need to clarify that. But occasionally when you don't show up you get an e-mail from some volunteer coordinator admonishing you for it, or you come back and get attitude, or find someone else was assigned to your project because you had to take care of personal business.
7) You started out open minded, enthusiastic, and energetic, but lately you feel drained. It can be physical, emotional, or psychological. It is not healthy. Maybe the desk work has turned into a more physical labor that you are just not up to - your back or feet hurt when you get home. Maybe you explained at the start that you were not up to physical work but that has been forgotten. Maybe it's that you find it all depressing. You really wanted to save the world or at least your little part of it, but you see how little impact you've made. Never mind about throwing pebbles and watching ripples. Just go.
8) You are expected to but up with boorish, harassing, or illegal behavior from staff, other volunteers, or people they serve. Sure some people are mentally ill and require understanding, but that hand in your crutch or the theft of your wallet from the locker is not OK. They fail to put importance on these things and they have no grievance procedure or don't take it seriously.
Example: I once went by to pick up a friend who was volunteering at a food bank. One of the other volunteers was giving a lecture to a homeless man about his lack of "appreciation," really berating him. I looked and there was a box full of half rotten apricots and not even any plastic bags to put your hand in to go through the fruit. Whomever donated those apricots for a tax deduction should've been ashamed. Worse, the whole reason for this food bank for the homeless was to provide empathy.
9) The higher ups don't think lowly volunteers need to be in the information loop. Decisions effect you and your desire to be there. You're putting your face and your reputation on their organization. You have the right to know what direction it's going in, and so much more. Are they really for the community good or their own egos? Reassess often.
10) They don't say thank you. I stayed at one volunteer job long after I should have because there was not a day that I wasn't personally thanked by someone on staff as I was heading out the door. It does matter.
I want to make you aware that there are often Non Profit Porthole type websites run by states or other governmental offices, that will tell you who owns a non-profit, how long they have been around, what they intend to do, and what money they have. You may be amazed by the great number of nonprofits that have near no money to operate. Many of your neighbors may have founded non-profits. Check their web sites.
Here are some articles to read:
While you read, realize the assumption that you should be volunteering, that it is
your duty to "give back."
C 2020 Christine Trzyna - Christine Trzyna BlogSpot
