9/14/24

CARLOS CASTANEDA QUOTE from THE ACTIVE SIDE OF INFINITY

page 78-79 paperback

"I began my story, telling don Juan that the circumstances of my life have never permitted me to be introspective. As far back in my past as I can remember, my daily life has been filled to the brim with pragmatic problems that have clamored for immediate resolution. I remember my favorite uncle telling me that he was appalled at having found out that I had never received a gift for Christmas or my birthday.

I had come to live in my father's family home not too long before he made that statement. He (Don Juan) commiserated with me about the unfairness of my situation. He even apologized, although it had nothing to do with him.

.... He (my uncle) insisted over and over that I had to forgive the people who had wronged me. From what he said, I formed the impression that he wanted me to confront my father with his finding and accuse him of indolence and neglect, and then, of course, forgive him. He failed to see that I didn't feel wronged at all. Asking me to do required an introspective nature that would make me respond to the barbs of psychological mistreatment once they were pointed out to me....

I never had the opportunity to think about it, but my uncle must have talked to my father, because I got a gift from him, a package neatly wrapped up, with a ribbon and all, and a little card that said "Sorry."

I curiously and eagerly ripped the wrappings. There was a cardboard box, and inside it there was a beautiful toy, a tiny boat with a a winding key attached to the steam pipe. It could be used by children to play with while they took baths in the bathtub. My father had thoroughly forgotten that I was already fifteen years old and for all practical purposes, a man."