TUNES IN MY HEAD AS I PREPARE FOR HOLIDAYS DURING THE COVID-19 CRISIS and CRAZY LADIES AROUND

I was somewhat Grinchy about Thanksgiving a couple years ago. This year, not so. An Auntie of mine used to say the later holiday was really just for children. It feels that way to me.  But why the hell is the song "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" coming into my head as I wash dishes? It is just so cheery!

And here we are in this increasingly worrisome Covid-19 Crisis; It's 2020 and we are going into 2021.  Restaurants can no longer serve people inside or out. Friends have lost their jobs. I know of a few people who are facing eviction. The tent city closest to me must have elected a mayor as the tents were artfully arranged from large to small the other day.

People are going out of their minds with worry, fear, restlessness, anxiety, lack of hope, boredom, and sleep irregularities and sleeplessness.  I'm not immune to any of this. 

So is this why for three strait days two lines from "Along Comes Mary," by the Association, kept running through my head? "When we met I was sure out to lunch.  Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch. Sweet As the Punch."

It's not that I can't fill my time, making slow progress on a research project, or start reading that stack of books other people wanted me to read. But yesterday I felt a little wigged out as the theme song from Sesame Street, Sunny Days, started playing in my head  I once babysat kids who would cry if I took the TV off and so they had Sesame Street on for hours every day.

I walk my dog and around the corner are some children who I suspect are not getting anything for Christmas.  But they have proud parents.  So I've been discouraged from leaving gifts on the porch steps.

I just had another crazy lady in the street start yelling at me re Trump.  And just like last time, I stopped and talked to her, sure she had actually gone insane in the Trump Cult and that something I might say could help her through the Transition.

"I'm a Mexican.  I used to be a Democrat!  I'm ASHAMED that I was a Democrat!" she wailed.  "Do you know what you people DID to that POOR MAN!?  (What, is he the latest to be nailed to a cross?) He has done more for Black People than any President!" And on it went.  I backed away as her finger swang in the air and pointed towards me. "You'll see!  You'll see!  Biden will DIE. Kamala will come in and she'll have those woman with a TOWEL on their head come in.  We'll be SOCIALISTS!" 

I told her not to fear.  I suspected she had not been raised in the United States and probably knew very little about The House, The Senate, The Congress, and our "checks and balances."  I said, "We are electing a President, not a King!"

Sweet As The Punch.

I went home and pulled out stacks of children's books that I intend to give as Christmas presents. I wrapped them all in festive papers. Then I pulled out the recipe for buttery rolls flavored with leaves of bay that I intend to bake and take to a Thanksgiving dinner. I pulled the recipe from the newspaper a while back and it needs yeast.  I went to a couple stores looking for yeast.  Wondering if my search for yeast would end me up in the hospital.

The plan is that everyone will go single file into the house to serve ourselves at the table and then sit outdoors in a backyard ten feet apart to eat.  I'm looking forward to this, but I would also be OK with staying home and watching The Crown. 

I'm in the mood to cheer you up.

Christine Trzyna

C2020

SKITTLES DIPS ARE A DIET BREAKER : THEY DIDN'T PAY ME TO SAY THIS!

I try NOT to buy candy, especially not big packages, but the original Skittles Dips that came my way were a diet breaker. There was no way not to eat all of them in a very short time span.  They have a creamy yogurt flavored coating that on occasion seems to have a hint of caramel. My only complaint is that they are not attractive.  They are a pale color that requires strong light to discern what flavor and an ugly black S stamp on each one. So if you're with the Skittle company product development or marketing, here this.  The candy needs a more appealing appearance. 

I TANGLE WITH TWO OLD LIT MAJORS WHO ARE STILL CARRYING THE LITERARY CANNON AROUND WITH THEM : TALKING TO STRANGERS

I was excited.

I had a few things to say to them.

They apprised me of the fact that they had both been lit majors.  Yea, in the 1950's and 1960's.  Had I, they wanted to know, been taught THE PROCESS FOR WRITING.

I said.

About one percent of the adult population of the United States buys ONE BOOK in a year.  That book may be "How to repair your Volkswagon."

The best selling fiction is bodice rippers.  Romances.

The number one topic in fiction or nonfiction on best selling lists is MURDER.

Very few people read books.  Very few people are like me.  I've read hundreds of books.

An "S and M" porn author with a trilogy that began on the internet, which resulted in some bad films as well, became rich on shit.  Badly written.  Horrible acting.  Shock value lost on me.  But because I wanted to understand the popularity, I read some of it.

AND

No matter how many classes I have taken, how many readings or question and answer sessions I've experienced in which audience members ask published authors about their recipe for success, there IS NO ONE WAY.  You may hear that the person wrote their whole novel while taking a shower.  Or that they are committed to 100 words a day.  Or that they didn't write for years but then they sat down and it flowed. Or that they took a decade to write one book.  THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO WRITE and NO ONE WAY TO LEARN TO WRITE. There is simply learning as you write.  

And WOMEN are UNDERREPRESENTED and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN when it comes to getting agents and getting published.  The stats against women writers are horrendous.

I forgot to say that in my Women's Literature class, within an esteemed Literature program that was judged to be about number 7 in the nation - something like that - when I attended - NOT ONE MALE GENDERED STUDENT took the class.

And so, you have to write because you have to write.

Without letting POLITICAL CORRECTNESS be your CENSORSHIP.

I couldn't write my own memoir and be politically correct.

This is the way writers and authors are being CRITIQUED.  Not for their ability to write or tell a good story, but if they are writing in line with the current politically correctness.  This is deadly if it happens in writing programs. It's deadly when it happens in publishing. So, no I've never read Harry Potter, but leave that author alone.

And so writers are, like the 'S and M porn author" publishing themselves.

And buying guns to protect themselves.

In this case, the two old lit majors just kept their mouths shut. I guess these strangers stopped talking to me, at least for a while.

C  2020 Christine Trzyna

All Rights Reserved

DREAM : EXPERIENCE THIRTEEN : CHRISTINE TRZYNA WRITING WORKSHOP

Write about a memorable dream - the dream that sticks with you.  You can use it as a place to begin.  Start a short fiction story based on that dream.

Christine Trzyna
C 2018 -2020 Christine Trzyna 
All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
OK to use in not for profit situations. Please credit me.  It's karma.

JOE BIDEN WON and IT RAINED

It was 150 days with no rain in Southern California. That statement is probably in error as Southern California is thousands of square miles and it probably rained somewhere in all that territory in the last 150 days.  

However, we have been waiting for it.  

Real rain.  Not morning mist.  Not a little drizzle, though I'm sure the plants would love to have their leaves dusted off so they can breath.  

We wanted a downpour.  An inch.  Rain enough to stop using the hose and racking up the water bill. Rain enough to plant a garden and expect it to sprout.

It happened, for a few minutes. Then it happened again. The wind whipped through the trees.  The pavement was damp. The leaves glistened. The temperature went down and we pulled out the sweaters and warm fuzzy blankets from storage.

Soon after it was announced that Joseph Biden is our President Elect, it rained.

It was as if we had all been holding our breaths,  The fires consumed much of the state.  And then, he was elected.  And then the sky let it out.

That's my perception.

My friends and I opened a bottle of wine.

We all slept a little bit better.

Though we know "It ain't over yet."  (Where is the fat lady these days? Hopefully the White House.)

Then the catnip addicted cat, who now loves me, squinting it's eyes and looking up at my forehead, perhaps at my glowing third eye, got up on their table, though, because he is aging and bony it took more effort, and put out his hand-shaking paw.  "More"

I bought the catnip, claiming to be the world's strongest, at a dollar store. 

I bought it after he got beat up by some studly, younger, and mouse eating cats.

This one, he's an Egyptian. The smartest.  From the Pharoahs.

One of those other cats had put a neat slice in his head near his ear. It was deep and oozing. He was barely walking. He was in pain. His own eyes appeared foggy.  As he went out, my friend said, "In my gut I think he is going off somewhere to die."

A day later he came back.

I made a perch for him on top of their record album collection in the hall. Layered it with blankets.  

He had never had catnip before. The idea was to give him some bliss before it was all over. The idea was to increase his appetite.

Now, whenever he sees me, he wants some.

He is eating.  He is well. His eyes are bright and alert.  From their porch he watches the other cats carefully.

Joe Biden is President Elect.

Will we all get better?

C 2020 Christine Trzyna

All Rights Reserved

WRITING STYLE : EXPERIENCE TWELVE : CHRISTINE TRZYNA WRITING WORKSHOP

Go to the library and with your eyes closed, pick one book off the shelf in the fiction section.  (re Covid, perhaps this should be the bookshelf of a friend, an open bookstore, or your own shelf of long unread books.)

Take it home and read a chapter from any place in the book.

Reread it again and this time, write trying to write like the author.

Every author has their habits.  Their way of thinking.

To begin getting into the writer's habits and thinking, hand write or hand print the chapter over again on paper.

Then continue.

Christine Trzyna
C 2018 - 2021  Christine Trzyna 
All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
OK to use in not for profit situations. Please credit me.  It's karma.

*Note that you don't want to publish what you have copied.  That would be plagiarism. 

NATURE : EXPERIENCE ELEVEN : CHRISTINE TRZYNA WRITING WORKSHOP

Maybe a half dozen people in the entire world that I know about, so to speak, have participated in my WRITING WORKSHOP spawned by recent posts - triggers - to get writing. Search this blog using the words WRITING WORKSHOP for the whole series.

EXERCISE 11

Write a descriptive scene from nature.
Then REWRITE IT being sure that you have included excellent color.
Then REWRITE IT being sure that you have included a variety of SMELLS.

Christine Trzyna
C 2018 -2021  Christine Trzyna 
All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
OK to use in not for profit situations. Please credit me.  It's karma.