Frank Sinatra and The Lost Art of Livin'
By Bill Zehme C 1997
HarperCollins Publishers, New York
from page 35 and page 38
Navigational tips for the uninitiated: "A GAS IS A GOOD SITUATION," the Leader (of the Rat Pack) once translated for Art Buckwald, in an unprecedented act of decoding. "An evening can be a wonderful gas. Or you can have a gas of a weekend." Therefore, a GASSER was one who installed such delight: "Applies to a person. He's a big leaguer, the best. He can hit the ball right out of the park." (More BROADS were gassers than were guys, understandably so. Should a gasser do something wonderful, she would be rewarded with the exclamation, CRAZY! or maybe COO-COO! When pleased by a pally, meanwhile, Frank showed approval by remarking, YOU CRAZY BASTARD!) On the other hand, a BUNTER would be "the opposite of a gasser.... a NOWHERE. He can never get to first base." Likewise, there was HARVEY:"A square. Harvey, or Harv, is the typical tourist who goes into a French restaurant and says, "What's ready?" CLYDE was no better, for clydes were DULLSVILLE personified, were instructed to SCRAMSVILLE, lest they render an evening ENDSVILLE. Otherwise, clyde was an all-purpose noun employed when words, wit, or memory failed. Explained Frank:"If I want someone to pass the salt, I say, Pass the Clyde.' 'I don't like her clyde, might mean 'I don't like her voice.' 'I have to go to the clyde might mean 'I have to go to the party.' "
If said party cooked, which is to say, was MOTHERY, which is to say, was wild and wicked, then all present would bear witness to a RING-A-DING-DING time, after which couples might pair off to make a LITTLE HEY-HEY. Unless a FINK had infiltrated the scene to queer the odds. "A fink is a loser," said Frank......
